Championship Horror Stories

These stories can only begin in this way…  So there I was…

So there I was at the NFC Championship game.  We were sitting in the “cheap seats” but still paying a pretty penny to be there.  We arrived at the stadium early to take pictures, get settled and find our seats.  I decided to take a trip to the restroom before the game began so I did not miss anything.  Oh I did not miss a thing… I walked down the stairs and around the hall to the bathroom.  While waiting my turn I noticed a bathroom attendant seemingly doing their job.  I then looked at the floor…  yuck, yuck, YUCK!  Someone had vomited on the floor ALREADY!!!  How drunk do you have to get before you even enter the stadium to vomit before the game begins?  Answer: Too Drunk!  If you are going to get this drunk, do it at HOME!  Don’t spend 300-10,000 dollars to get drunk, vomit and not remember the entire day.  I have a yucky list.  On my list of yuck, from yuckiest to least yucky is: vomit, boogers then poop.  And there you go the most disgusting of them all…. vomit.  Ugh.  I have a few words in my brain but none that should come out of my mouth when I think of someone capable of this ridiculous-ness.

Story number two…

So there I was at the NFC Championship game.  At the end of halftime I decided to use the restroom so I didn’t miss any of the game (are we seeing a trend here?).  I was waiting my turn in line.  There were about 5 girls ahead of me and 4 behind.  The line was long but really not so bad.  Some female popped into the bathroom, got in line and surveyed the situation.  She then decided to move her rear into the corner right inside the restroom, drop her drawers, openly apologize “sorry I just can’t wait”, and urinate on the floor.  Not in a toilet, not in a sink, not even by the drain.  Right in the corner on the tile floor.  Yuck, yuck, YUCK!  Definitely not ok!  I could never in my right mind be intoxicated enough to do such a thing.  I waited my turn while the girls ahead of me in line and I discussed how utterly disgusted we were.  Upon exiting the restroom I noticed that some unknowing ladies were now standing in a puddle of urine without knowing any better.

P.S.  The guy behind us at our seats openly smoked marijuana the entire game.  Enough said.

Well done football fans.  Well done.